An Inexcusable Death
by Just A Starving Writer
Summary: Follow-up to "Inexcusable Nature": Some people will do anything to escape celebrity, but how do you die without killing yourself? [SK][Complete]


**An Inexcusable Death   
**_Just A Starving Writer_

**_Disclaimer:_** nope, not mine.   
**_Author's Rant:_** This is merely just a tiny little follow-up to Inexcusable Nature that wouldn't leave my poor little mind alone. That bitch of a muse is pure evil, I tell you. It was a little too centered to be another chapter...eh, I don't know. If you haven't read IN, it's pointless to read this.   
Anyways, hope it's funny. Enjoy if you can.

**An Inexcusable Death**

It started as a trickle. As a new member of the Immortals, she had been forced to learn the secrets they hid under their present facades. Although at first she had been hesitant, soon she could be found digging in the Records or sifting through the immense Immortal Rules.

The information was interesting to say the least. The more immortals she met, the more surprised she became at the vague workings of the Mortal Remedy. It seemed all they actually knew about the cure was that it sustained life and stopped age, but even that was iffy.

First was the problem with age. Apparently, the Mortal Remedy had no distinct age to stop at. Instead, it appeared as if each person's path through time had been halted at a different point. Listening to a few rather annoyed immortals, she learned that the process could happen repeatedly, without warning, though no one who started younger stopped over 40. At the other end of the spectrum, certain individuals had stayed children for vast amounts of time, some for up to 60 years. It was hinted among the others that they simply were not ready to grow up yet, which of course, did nothing to remedy the distance between some family members. Kagome herself felt that her age had stopped shortly after being given the Remedy. She could only wonder what being 18 for possibly decades said about her maturity level.

In addition, the Mortal Remedy gave no distinction between human and youkai. For Born Immortals, it was not needed to drink the Remedy as it appeared to be passed down by the parents. However, new members were different. What had started out as a test and accident, became a necessary tradition. All new members of the extended family were required to accept the Remedy, despite any demon heritage they might have had. Such had been the case when Kouga sought to marry one of Miroku and Sango's grandchildren, one that vaguely resembled Kagome in both appearance and attitude. While Kouga claimed it was not necessary to take the Mortal Remedy due to his supreme youkai-ness, he was eventually required to do so or risk being forced to give up his right to marriage into the family. The reason was simple: the Remedy was skilled in keeping what limited aging it provided on a level scale with human aging, thus making unfrozen childhood and any other periods of actual growth less suspicious to the mortal world, something that could not be said for youkai.

It was all very fascinating. However, one thing interested her more than all of it. As the immortals stayed young while the world around grew quickly, it had soon become necessary to fake deaths and invent new lives. In fact, most of the Immortal Rules focused on publicly killing off personas. There was an art to it.

Getting the immortals to discuss their favorite deaths with her was easy. It seemed to be one of their favorite pastimes, to invent new and creative ways to die. In the beginning, it had been rather easy. Men of warrior age disappeared and 'died tragically in battle.' Women would disappear when they went off to visit a relative. Children were the hardest, but even they could be killed off through false illnesses or animal attacks. Later on, cave exploration accidents became popular.

Unfortunately, with increasing technology and less ignorant people over the years, it became necessary to be more inventive. The worst blow was when massive governmental paperwork initiatives began demanding that every person be documented. However, that setback was soon remedied with an operative working within the bureaucracy at all times. Eventually, it was only necessary to keep operatives in two of several select countries. In this manner, all immortals were kept documented, their supposed youth portrayed via doctored photographs of their children.

The more she learned of the death process, the more intrigued she became, perhaps because her own life was lacking. While some may have been more than happy with a gorgeous husband, it took enough time and energy just keeping him in his place without having to worry about hidden photographers and spying reporters.

Her not-so-doting husband's earlier career had been as a B-level rapper, hence his unusual apparel. When asked why he had chosen that specific route, he had haughtily explained to her that it was easy, provided the family with the funds it needed, and allowed him to uncover some of his facial markings without scrutiny. As a rapper in America, he was allowed to get away with wearing pretty much anything and thus had taken the opportunity to find outfits similar in form and comfort to his former Feudal attire.

Unfortunately, his glory days as KT provided him with adequate popularity that only increased when a nephew stumbled across some poetry he had attempted. The nephew, founder of the then struggling 2Hot, had requested to use the rhymes as lyrics and the former taiyoukai had reluctantly agreed. After all, the kid had excommunicated him for the last 440 odd years and he really didn't feel like being shunned anymore. The kid was family, Inuyasha's first born and three quarters demon. If all went as planned, the kid was to be the most demonic of the half-brothers' children. It was no good to keep such a powerful relative as a foe.

Little did he know the success the poor quality poetry would have on the gullible American masses. It only made him further doubt the supremacy of the humans, but then there wasn't much he could do about it, now that his species had been reduced to mythology. However, he was unprepared for the consequences of one of his Japanese poems turned into song. Fans of both versions of the song were beyond numerous and the entire album was nominated for awards due to its apparent 'ability to transcend cultures.'

Of course, he fully realized it was all crap. But that didn't stop his popularity. If anything, the more arrogant, condescending, and pompous he appeared, the more the crowd loved him. After all, it was all a part of his 'bad ass rapper' persona. His former albums as KT began to sell once again even as 2Hot was stealing radio time everywhere it could find it. It looked like everything was going great.

Until Kagome re-entered his life. He should have expected the miko to not be impressed with his massive celebrity and legions of fans. Instead of bowing and scraping like any other female, she had become angry for including her in his rise to fame. Instead of soaking in the reflected glory, she loathed the spotlight.

And it was only getting worse. Just this week, she had found out via a call to her mother, still residing at the shrine in Japan, that reporters had been questioning her former friends and were currently searching for an elusive unnamed doctor that would verify her exceedingly poor health from her high school days.

"Kikyou is four now," Kagome whispered furiously to her nonchalant husband even as she put her sleeping daughter to bed. "What happens when she turns eight? They are going to notice when she stops aging!"

"There is no indication that she will cease to age so young."

"Don't pull that with me!" she hissed in retort. "I've been reading everyone's accounts. I know it's more than common for Born Immortals, even partial demon Born Immortals, to stop for a decade at 8."

"It is still only speculation."

"Still. She's going to have to go to school soon and I don't want those snooty reporters following her."

"Then she will be schooled in Japan."

"We've already tried Japan. You know it was just as bad there. And what happens when people start realizing she's not like normal humans?"

"She appears human enough as it is," he stated, seemingly a bit phased by the idea. The child was a hanyou and yet looked more human than even his half-brother did before the Demon Mute Treatment. In fact, if it wasn't for her slightly lengthened canines, sharpened senses, swiftly growing fingernails, and absurd speed, he might have considered doubting the child's parentage. "Kit has already begun the Treatment. There should be no problems."

"O, you know that's silly. Why else do you think Inuyasha and Kagura have to keep killing off their children?"

The two shared glares before silently leaving their young daughter's room. It was Kagome who relented first.

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Hn."

"Sometimes I think this is worse than Naraku... You do know that we're still considered both the 'World's Best Red Carpet Moment' AND 'Best Celebrity Moment Ever'? It's been five damn years! You'd think they'd find someone new to pick on!!"

"As I recall, it was your moment."

"O, don't you dare go there! Start that and I'll spend the next few weeks with Kagura! Then you can think about whose fault that was all by yourself!"

It was not an idle threat. In fact, it was a great threat and one to be taken very seriously. Within an instant the miko found herself in the arms of her husband as he determinedly carried her to their bedroom. Might as well get what he could.

"O, you BASTARD! Put me DOWN!" she commanded but he listened not. By now, he had built up a resistance to certain levels of her fury. Of course, it did require the soundproofing of their bedroom, but it was all worth it in the end. Not to mention that precautionary level of insulation helped deafen other, more pleasing sounds as well...

Loosening his grip, he allowed the miko to slip out of his arms and stumble furiously to the other side of the room.

"Can't you see that it's horrible?!" she shrieked even as she trembled with frightened indignation. "Can't you see that they are suffocating our lives? Do you really want our daughter growing up being followed by those sleazy reporters??"

"She will grow accustomed to it, as will you."

Her anger grew and he knew he had said the incorrect thing, which indeed he had. In making it seem like a normal occurrence to be stalked by paparazzi and slightly disturbed fans, he had, in her mind at least, made her seem not adaptable and therefore weak. It was not an accusation she took lightly. After all, how could the wife of the former taiyoukai of western Japan and former rapper KT be anything but strong?

"Grow accustomed? ACCUSTOMED?" she screeched. Stomping barefoot over to him, she did not hesitate to slap her husband.

Unfortunately, she forgot in her anger that such tactics had never successfully worked against him. He instantly pulled his protesting wife into his arms and proceeded to kiss her ruthlessly. She was never one to resist such affection from him. After all, it was where most of his present day power lay.

Thus it was no surprise that within moments, the two had begun to share the privileges awarded a man and woman who were drastically and dramatically in love. Her last conscious thought was how happy she was that she had unwittingly discovered his battered copy of the Kama Sutra and taken its teachings to heart.

* * *

She was almost certain she was pregnant...again. While ordinarily a second child within 5 years of the first may not have been such a big deal, she was under strict rules as an Immortal. Luckily enough, the Immortal Rules allowed for 2 children within the first 15 years of a couple's marriage. It helped that the writers of the Rules knew they would be affected by it, even if it did make immortal intercourse illicit in the days before birth control. Now it was a bit easier. They would just have to be very careful for the next decade.

But first she had to know if she was in fact carrying her second child. Unfortunately, her doctor was on vacation and with sleazy reporters paying off people for scoops right and left, she simply did not trust the information with a doctor she wasn't familiar with. So, a store bought pregnancy test was just going to have to do. Strange how she trusted the store pharmacy clerk more than most doctors...

Going for the traditional sunglasses and hooded pullover to hide some of her identity, she paid a visit to the local pharmacy. While a few of her fellow pedestrians seemed to recognize her, she wasn't overly harassed, a silent blessing. To add to the good luck she had running, she happened across Miroku waiting for a prescription in the back of the pharmacy.

"Ah, Kagome, it has been some time," the elderly monk said with a wicked smile. Even frozen in his early seventies, he was still very much the same person, perversion and all. It was regularly joked within the family that it was good for the population of the world that the Mortal Remedy had come so late for the monk and his wife.

"Yes, too long," she acknowledged, slightly wary from his grin. Now that she thought about it, those few that had recognized her on the street had a similar expression. What could the tabloids possibly have written about her recently? Surely they didn't know she was probably pregnant; after all, she wasn't even certain about it herself. "What are you getting?"

"Oh, you know, just something for Sango," he said mischievously. Looking over his shoulder, she was almost certain the prescription read Viagra. She gulped with embarrassment. So nothing had changed...

"So, what brings you here?" the monk fished, noticing the curious package in the miko's grasp. She instantly blushed and stuffed the test behind her back. The monk could be a horrible gossip and there were some in the family who were not entirely close-lipped about such matters as new arrivals. That was, in fact, how the media had gotten wind of her pregnancy with Kikyou.

"O, nothing..." she mumbled nervously. "Just picking up Kit's allergy medication." That was true enough. The little hanyou girl, daughter of a powerful dog demon, had a strong sense of smell, and by a fluke, they had discovered that prescription strength allergy medicine made dealing with such a strong sense much easier. Soon, she would learn to adapt to it but for now, it was enough that she did not continually need nose plugs.

"Ah, I see," Miroku said with another suspicious grin. "Anything new with the loving Kisho-sama?"

She would have laughed as she usually did at the nickname the family had adopted for him once he had taken his most recent persona, except that the monk had winked. Perhaps it meant nothing, but the miko was more than a little bit apprehensive, and more than plenty paranoid. Mumbling something about forgetting something at home and returning later for her daughter's medication, she bid her friend farewell, paid for the pregnancy test as discreetly as possible, and left the store at a near run.

Returning to the estate, she immediately turned on the television to the Entertainment Network. She didn't need to wait long to get the information she needed. Within moments, she had her husband on the phone.

"Yes," he stated on the line, seemingly annoyed at being interrupted mid meeting with his flamboyant agent.

"Channel 57 NOW!"

Cradling the phone in one hand and the unopened E.P.T. in the other, she sat trembling on the large couch as she watched the same program as her husband.

"Yet another celebrity pair has fallen victim to the notorious 'Sex Tape' mistake. While you may assume after the Paris Hilton scandal, celebrities would wise up to taping their sexual escapades that doesn't seem to be the case for rapper/songwriter KT and his wife. EN has the exclusive details!"

Though the tape was blurred enough to render the acts performed unreadable, there was no question who the participants were. More unlikely, the setting was most definitely their own, rather well lit, bedroom.

"O Kami..." she muttered into the phone. "Please tell me you didn't tape that."

"I did not."

"Then how...?"

"It seems we have a spy."

"Kami...."

"Calm yourself."

"HOW CAN I CALM MYSELF?! Are you even WATCHING this?!"

"We will get through this."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!"

"I'm returning home now. Try to calm yourself before I arrive."

And with that completely reasonable though implausible order, he swiftly hung up. The distraught miko held the phone to her ear for a full 3 minutes before realizing her husband was no longer on the line. As she dropped the handset, she suddenly remembered the contents of her other hand. Half in a trance, she fumbled toward the master bathroom.

* * *

By order of the head of the house, no televisions were turned on, nor papers accepted, nor radios allowed. However inclined the family was to argue, they all agreed it was best for the baby as Kagome's pregnancy was verified.

After a week of press-free house arrest, the miko could take no more. She simply had to know what was being said about her. And so, she waited until her not-so-doting husband had left before sending out her babysitter for ice cream. Left alone for the first time in days, she managed to squirm her way behind the kitchen's television and plug it back in. Settling onto a stool, she turned the power on and tuned in to what was formerly one of her favorite shows, 'Best Week, Period.'

Sure enough, her sex life was a topic of conversation.

Cringing, she watched fastidiously patched segments of the infamous tape replayed as commentators noted the intimacy she shared with the former rapper/taiyoukai.

"When you watch their body language, you see that both are completely unrestricted with their love. Even though the first 30 minutes or so of the tape show rougher intercourse, the second half really demonstrates the deep love they share," the apparent 'body language' specialist noted and Kagome could only nod in horror.

Well, at least they didn't think she was a whore, even if she was married to a rapper.

Then of course, the show relayed the estimated fan base for the illicit tape. She could only gape with disgusted wonder. THAT many people?!

Hearing a car return, she went to unplug the television but not before she caught one last tidbit, one of the show's regular segments.

"And who's having the best week, period? Mrs. Kagome Takahashi of course!"

Mouth falling wide open again, she watched as the program's comedic commentators made various references concerning why her week was so damn good. Only one made any sense.

"Of course she's having the best week, period!" a woman in a rather appalling lime green dress stated with expertise. "Anyone whose man can keep it up that long is having the best year, period! Wow! Are all rappers that good in the sack or is she just the luckiest woman on the planet?"

Standing behind the semi-large television, the miko was stunned into silence until someone clicked off the set.

"Kagome," the imposing youkai stated with chastising authority.

Finally breaking free of her shock, she turned dazzled and teary eyes onto him. She made her decision then and there.

"I'm going to do it," she said softly, confidence radiating off her entire form even as her back stiffened in response to his unspoken challenge.

"What."

"Die. WE are going to die."

* * *

Perhaps he should have known that her study of the Immortal Rules would only end up giving her ideas. Unfortunately, there were certain things he could not refuse his wife, and her pursuit of knowledge was one of them. Having experienced the consequences of denying something she had set her heart on with the naming of Kikyou, he was not prepared to go willingly into such a battle again.

O, the torment one little girl's name could be! After pouring over the Records, Kagome had come to find that all the important people who had either died recently or never made it to the Mortal Remedy were used as namesakes for immortal children. True names where held in high regard with the immortals, for even if they had to change their identities quite often, they always remained true to who they were originally by fastidiously clinging to their birth name. Thus it was something of a vast honor to have a namesake.

There had been two Kaedes, one who had unfortunately actually died in the 1800s and one who was currently living with Miroku and Sango, her great-great-great-great grandparents. One of Inuyasha and Kagura's children was named Kanna, in memory of the incarnation's trapped spirit. There was even one unfortunate soul given the name of the late Jaken, the real imp having disappeared during a cross country errand, presumably to his death, shortly after his master took the scholarly road.

However, due in large part to worry over Kagome's opinion and partially because of some of her more negative affiliations, no Born Immortal was given the name Kikyou. And that had shaken the miko. While it was true Kagome hated to be mistaken for her incarnate, she held nothing against the presently dead miko. In fact, it bothered her that the legendary protector of the Shikon no Tama was so denied what should have been her right. After all, if Jaken got to be a namesake, why not her? She'd certainly accomplished much more good than the diminutive retainer.

And so a very pregnant and emotional Kagome demanded that her daughter's name be Kikyou. Against all advice, 'Kisho' argued against her, stating that no daughter of his would be named after a fallen priestess who had done more than her fair share of treacherous acts.

It began an all out war that was only ended when they realized the strain it was putting on the mother-to-be. Finally, in an attempt to calm her, the father-to-be allowed that he would consider the idea. There was no more discussion on the subject, though no one argued when they took to calling the child Kit, both a useful American nickname as well as a play on a certain fox demon.

However, now that he thought about it, the argument had been relatively useless. After all, if his wife got her way this time, the girl's name would change again anyways, even if it was in the Records.

"We are going to die," he coldly challenged her. Though he knew some of the extent to which she hated her present life, she did not understand the trouble it took to kill a persona, let alone a family of personas.

"Yes," she returned with resolve. He instantly recognized the tone and sighed softly in defeat. He would allow her this, if only so she would calm enough to not hurt herself or their new child.

"Fine. You will arrange it." At least he wouldn't have to deal with the massive amounts of paperwork.

She nodded solemnly and left the room, but not before grabbing a box of left over Chinese take-out from the fridge.

* * *

"Why'd you do it?" the man asked his companion.

"What? The tape?" the woman responded.

"Yeah."

"Because she hates this life."

"So you decided to embarrass her to death?"

"Something had to push her into the decision."

The man only grunted in response.

"Besides," the woman continued with complete confidence. "How could I not sell it after seeing it? That tape was a work of art."

"What the hell are you saying?" asked the man with indignant and embarrassed worry.

The woman grinned wryly.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

* * *

It was a month of complete and utter hell for the pregnant miko. She could only thank every deity in existence that the media had not gotten word of her condition yet, too focused were they on the massive popularity of her now all too public sex life.

Somehow, between dodging photographers, giving brief comments to reporters, turning down contracts to make pornographic films, and searching for the elusive culprit that put her in this mess to begin with, she managed to fill out all the proper paperwork necessary to gain approval for the death of her small family.

The day the acceptance papers came in, she decided to throw a party, inviting all the immortals she was presently able to associate with as well as a few friends she had made along the way. As a cover, the reason for the impromptu festivities and tearful goodbyes was attributed to the Takahashi family's departure for Canada in a vain attempt to wait out the popularity of the Tape. Kagome supposed it was true enough... they were moving and the plane was going to Canada....it just wouldn't quite make it.

Calling everyone's attention together with a few quick flicks of the light switch, she raised her glass of non-alcoholic wine for a toast.

"Thank you all for coming. It brings me great joy to know that this family is going to be so missed. I just want you all to know that you will always be in my thoughts, even if I don't get to see you."

"We can still visit, you know!" called out a true mortal, oblivious to her planned death.

She merely smiled secretively.

"Of course, but people get so busy," she said instead.

Though it was difficult to get through the evening without letting anything slip, very important considering she was certain at least a couple of the guests had not been invited and were sporting well hidden tape recorders, she managed to get through the gathering and finally turned her attention to finishing up all the details of her family's death, which was to take place the following day. After packing several suitcases, both real and fake, she turned her attention to one last little thing.

Gathering her delicately written correspondence, she added one last package to the pile before dropping it off at the post office.

Stopping by the pharmacy, she picked up a few travel necessities, but not before spotting her picture, still prominently displayed on the cover of a few tabloids, ostensensibly placed beside what could either be Elvis or the Abominable Snowman. Sighing slightly, she wondered what the tabloids would have to say about the death of beloved rapper KT and his family.

She would have to ask Kagura to send her a copy. After all, the wind sorceress was already highly entertained by the whole damn thing as it was.

* * *

The world was shocked and indeed the tabloids were rather interesting when fans around the globe found out that Kisho Takahashi, better known as rapper/songwriter KT, along with his wife and young daughter, died in a horrific plane crash on the way to a new home in Canada.

The wreckage of the small jet was tortuous and devastating, spreading out over several miles of rough terrain. It was impossible that anyone could have survived, if anyone had been onboard, of course.

As usual, the lack of bodily proof only spurred the less honest people of the press to begin their conspiracy theories as to the disappearance of the famed family. Thankfully, no one but the immortals took them seriously. It didn't help their case any that these stories were a page removed from the most recent discovery of an alien inhabiting the body of a sheep dog in rural Oklahoma.

As the world mourned the loss of two its favorite celebrities, said celebrities celebrated their arrival and new life in St. Petersburg.

Kagome, or Aiko now, sighed with half relief and half sorrow as she fingered the unnaturally yellow strands of her hair. After all that time it took to grow it back out to its previous level and now she had to dye and cut it? Life could be cruel.

"Are you content now?" her husband, the newly dubbed Yoshi, asked with tired authority. It had been a long trip. Not to mention he also did not appreciate his new hair. The lengthy white strands had been trimmed back to a fashionable shag that was died a more natural and less recognizable black. Gel completed the youthful look. Their most recent personas, as a study-abroad college student and her husband, were acceptable but not up to his discriminating taste.

She smiled softly as she looked out the window to the bustling Russian city. Her gaze shifted to her slightly larger stomach and then her daughter, sleeping on the worn couch, before resting back onto her troublesome husband.

Her smile widened radiantly.

"Yes, I believe I am," she answered truthfully.

Without another word, the two retreated to their not as lavish bedroom to participate in acts fans of their Tape could only dream of.

* * *

Kagura wiped the fake tears from her eyes as she re-entered her home. It was particularly troublesome to have to pretend to mourn, but then she had become quite the skilled actress after five centuries.

"Can you bring the mail over here?" Inuyasha yelled from his position on the couch.

Kagura sighed at his laziness but grabbed the stack anyways. Throwing it on top of his sprawled body, she sat primly on the edge of the sofa next to him.

"Hey, you got something," the hanyou said as he threw a package her way. With a scowl, she snatched it up and opened it with a manicured nail. Pulling out a note, a book, and a video cassette, she immediately burst into giggles.

"What is it, bitch?"

"Read this," she commanded, throwing the note at him while she carefully opened the battered book, reading with intensity he'd never seen before.

The hanyou turned his eyes to the note and also began to laugh.

_Kagura _

Though I'm sure you kept a copy for yourself, I am returning you the original copy of the tape I know you made. Also, I included a book you may find interesting. Really, if you wanted to pointers, you could have just asked.

Your sister in spirit,   
Kagome

Once his mirth had somewhat abated, he turned back to his wife who was still intently reading the book with wide eyes.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

Lifting the book to show him the illustration she had been studying she replied with a smile.

"The Kama Sutra."

They shared a pointed look.

"You know," the hanyou began. "It's been a century since the last kid..."

"Yes it has," she responded coyly.

Without another word, he leapt from the sofa and held out his hand for his wife. They walked arm in arm to the back of their home.

* * *

_Fin. (finally..again)_


End file.
